by Craig Harper

Hmm, where to start with this topic…

Well, I guess this chat might not technically fall into the personal development category. It definitely wouldn’t come under the health/fitness banner. And it’s not really a motivational piece either. Although it might motivate some to change a thing or two in their world. Could be seen as a social commentary piece. Or perhaps an exploration into relationships and communication. Or maybe a mindless rant from a single bloke with way too many issues, who’s trying to rationalise his bachelor existence. You decide.

Anyway (said in the voice of Ross from Friends)….

One of the many interesting things about being a life-long, single male in his early forties is people’s reactions to that single-ness (yep, a word). Everyone has an opinion on it. Depending on the person’s thinking, it can place me anywhere on the scale from ‘complete social outcast’, to ‘coolest bloke on earth’ and ‘luckiest man alive’. And elicit responses ranging from pity and ridicule, to envy and admiration. Or in the case of my mother, complete devastation. My darling mum (mom) sees me essentially as a means to a grandchild and to be honest, I have been a bitter disappointment. Sure, she wants me happily married, but what she really wants… is that kid!! And yes, she lets me know it.

I love the mentality that says “single at that age, must be something wrong with him!”
Yep, had plenty of that.
“He’s how old?.. and no woman, must have a lot of issues.”
“Poor thing.”
Interesting psychology that. Yet, very common.

It’s like they have a picture in their mind of me sitting at home every night in my underwear, in a room lit by candles, eating meatloaf flavoured ice-cream from a paper plate, with my pet rat Eugene on my shoulder, my feet in one of those foot spas, a little ‘Enya’ playing in the background and some strategically placed cushions with images of my ex-girlfriends embroidered on them, lying around the room.
That’s okay right?
If I had said tuna flavoured ice-cream, now that woulda been weird.
Waddya mean the cushion thing is creepy?
Oh well.

We all know that married people have no issues and that if, per chance, they do enter into their matrimonial journey with a few problems, the marriage ceremony will alleviate those instantly and forever. Great how that works isn’t it?

What people think about me being single doesn’t bother me at all, but it does interest me. For some bizarre reason, my single-ness is fascinating to some. I personally don’t think it’s interesting at all, but you would be shocked by the number of people who want to interrogate me regarding my ‘lack of wife’ status, in an attempt to discover what’s wrong with me. “There’s gotta be something, it’s not normal” someone told me not too long ago. I wonder if I wasn’t single, whether people would say “so Craig, why are you married?”

Apparently, as a Personal Development speaker and writer I should be married. It’s a rule. People have suggested that my career would benefit from my extrication from the world of single-dom. Doesn’t matter if I’m happily married or not, as long as I’m married.

A woman said to me recently, “I thought someone as evolved as you, would have found your soul-mate long ago.” I actually laughed out loud at her. “Clearly, I have a way to go”, was my response. Her friend (in the same conversation) suggested that I was probably gay but didn’t know it, or want to admit it. “Oh, I’m pretty sure I’m not”, I shared. “You think you’re sure”, she said. “All the pretty girls you meet, and not one wife?” I didn’t realise ‘pretty’ was the determinant for a life partner. Missed that memo. Okay, note to self: if she’s hot, marry her. There’s my big mistake; stupidly, I’ve been looking beyond appearance. Idiot.

Apparently, my single-ness is some kind of indicator of dysfunction. That’s it, I’m gettin’ married this week. That’ll fix me. Weirdo that I am.

I would never have thought to write an article on this topic, but some people seem to be fascinated by the whole single verses married discussion and in my little world, the conversation seems regularly to be directed back towards me. Of course there is no wrong or right, only opinions, so that’s what I’m sharing. People often want to hear my thoughts on marriage because I’m single. Don’t know why.
“Do you have marriage issues”, I got asked last week. No, I love the idea of marriage and maybe I will be happily married one day, but if I don’t get married, that’s cool too. What I do have a problem with is, marrying someone who I’m not desperately, hopelessly in love with; marriage for the sake of not being single - seen it a million times.

For some people it’s like…
“Yep, he (she) ticks all the right boxes, definitely a candidate. Let’s see, money - check, good family - check, career - check, looks - check… marriage it is”
“Er, yeh but I don’t really love him.”
“Stop being unrealistic, your thirty four, your biological clock is racing, you won’t do any better.”

Over the years I have had many people say to me, “Hmm, you’d be a good catch… you need to meet my sister/daughter/cousin/girlfriend!” And their reason for saying that I’m a ‘catch’ is not because of my values, personality, integrity or all-round good-bloke-ness (a word), it’s because they see me as being moderately successful and financially secure. A safe bet.
I find that sad.
“Yes, he ticks enough boxes, put him on the list Sally.”

To me, some people seem to be more in love with the ‘idea’ of marriage than the actual person they’re marrying or are married to. I see this as a catastrophe in waiting. It’s also apparent that some people are so petrified of being single, that finding their ’soul mate’ gets compromised down to “is he or she breathing? Wouldn’t have been my first (or tenth) choice but hey, I have limited options, so giddyup cowboy(girl), get me that ring.”

I have had literally thousands of conversations over the last three hundred years (you know I’m immortal right?) with people who are miserable in their marriage, yet amazingly, do nothing to fix it, or change the situation. For many people, marriage is something to be endured, tolerated even and of course for others, it’s the best thing that will ever happen to them.

Okay, here are some random thoughts on the matter. Feel free to correct me or teach me a lesson - I am just a single bloke…

1. I am not against marriage in any way. Most of my friends are married and I know it can be an incredible part of the human experience. Given the opportunity with the right person, I would love to share my life with someone but, I’d rather be single forever, than married for the sake of it. And yep, I’ve been close a few times.

2. I don’t believe that people need to be married to be fulfilled, functional, balanced or happy; those things are not dependant on marital status. You don’t need to be a researcher to discover that marriage doesn’t (automatically) equal happiness, just open your eyes. People seem to struggle with the thought of me being single and happy. They think I’m lying. It bothers them.
“You’re not really happy, you only think you are… you’re just trying to convince yourself.”
“Er, okay. I didn’t realise how miserable I am - thanks”.

3. Some people are so terrified of being alone that they will compromise themselves to the point of actually losing their identity. “I’ll be whatever you want me to be..” You’ve seen it. Maybe you’ve been it. Misery and frustration is always the result. It’s important (for many reasons) that we learn to be comfortable and secure on our own before we launch into a life partnership.

4. A person who really gets to know themself and is truly comfortable with their own company, will be more attractive to a potential partner.

5. Too many people enter into marriage wearing those rose coloured glasses, only to have them ripped off by about day three. They spend a year planning how to have a great wedding and zero time planning how to have a great marriage.

6. People who have that sense of urgency to get married are less likely to find marital bliss and less likely to appeal to a potential partner. Note to all wanna-be brides and grooms: Desperation - not attractive.

7. While I’m open to the idea of marriage, and I would love a little Craig or Craigette one day, I love my life right now and I gotta say, singledom… not as horrible as some would have you believe!!!

Okay, now that I’ve opened that can of worms, I’ll let you play with them.
I’m off to finish my meatloaf ice-cream and revel in my dysfunction.
Hey, where’s Eugene gone?

Leave your numerous comments below. You know the drill.

Craig Harper is a motivational speaker, qualified exercise scientist, author, radio presenter, television personality and owner of one of the largest personal training centres in the world. Visit Craig’s website motivational speaker for more life lessons.

By Lucinda Lions

Even the most confident people feel an element of fear when they step outside their comfort zone. Think of someone successful. That person has felt fear too, but they faced thier fear and gave it a go anyway. You can use fear to build confidence too!

I  went to see a recent client, a barrister, in court and watched in awe as he eloquently and confidently addressed the judge and jury. To see him all self-assured, you’d think he was born a natural public speaker.

Not so. When he was a young adult and junior solicitor he suffered the usual gut wrenching nerves that many of us experience when we speak in front of people. But rather than letting his fear hold him back, he learnt the techniques of good public speaking, and then, despite feeling insecure and sick with nerves, he just did it, over and over and over again through public speaking engagements, debating opportunities and so on. This helped him build confidence.

He made mistakes along the way, but he also made something else: an absolute success of himself! No matter what the result, good or bad, each time he spoke publicly he faced his fear rather than allowing it to hold him back. And naturally over time, the fear lessened and confidence took its place.

The moral of the story is: Fear it. Do it.

When we’re faced with a fearful task most of us think: “I’ll do that when I’m more confident and experienced”. But we only build confidence and experience when we actually do it.

If our barrister waited for the day when he was confident about public speaking without actually doing anything, he’d probably be working in a different job today, still waiting, and probably riddled with “What ifs?”.

Fear restricts us from reaching our full potential, and sadly, it has put many soloists out of business. The next time you are faced with a fearful task, build confidence by repeating the following Positive Words and Affirmations (also known as a POW-A script).

Read it. Repeat it. Believe it. Achieve it.

Positive Words

• I am going to overcome my fear.
• Every time I do something that I fear, I will grow in confidence.
• Now is the time for me to do it.
• I will equip myself with the skills to do this properly. I will learn, read and research.
• I will seek input and feedback from knowledgeable people.
• I will practice and prepare.
• I will do my very best.
• If I make mistakes, I will only get better as a result of making them.
• I am a success every time I face my fear, no matter what the result.
• Fear will no longer hold me back in life. I will grow, and so will my business!

Affirmations

• I am a success
• I am brave
• I am skilled
• I am prepared and ready for all opportunities

Face the fear in all areas of your life and you will build confidence and give yourself a chance to really soar.

What do you fear the most? Has fear ever held you back? Have you overcome any fears, and if so, how?

For more from Lucinda Lions, head to www.flyingsolo.com.au, Australia’s online community for solo and micro business owners.

By Maya Anderson

Not all vision loss and eye problems are out of your control. You can look after your eye health, naturally.

Many people are unaware that environmental and lifestyle factors can affect our eye health, believing that ageing and eye strain is what affects our vision. However National Professional Services Manager from the Optometrists Association Australia Shirley Loh said while there is often no cure for restoring eye health to what it once was, looking after your eyes is essential.

“The two most important things are: a checkup with an optometrist or ophthalmologist every two years, or sooner if you have specific eye problems, and don’t smoke,” Ms Loh said. The link between smoking and age-related macular degeneration, which can lead to total blindness, is just as strong as the link between smoking and lung cancer.

With a proper diet, sufficient vitamin intake and the right supplements, it can be possible to help prevent some eye conditions and a degree of macular degeneration.

Perth Diet Clinic dietitian Peggy Stacy said that vitamins and minerals that can help prevent macular degeneration include zinc, vitamin C, E and B6, some carotenoids, vitamin E, magnesium and folate. “The bottom line is, if you eat a well balanced and varied diet, there should be no problem,” Ms Stacy said. “That means eating fish frequently, having lots of dark green leafy vegetables and a wide range of fruit and vegetables.”

Omega 3 fatty acid can help prevent vision loss and also helps with dry eye by increasing tear stability. It is found in oily fish, flaxseed and walnuts. “One can take tablets but the intake of fresh or tinned salmon, tuna and sardines are excellent and remove the need for supplements,” Ms Stacy said.

Wearing sunglasses all year round is essential. Ideally you should wear sunglasses with a protection rating that meets the Australian Standard AS/NZS 1067:2003 and have an Eye Protection Factor rating of 10, the highest EPF rating in Australia.

“UV radiation damage accumulates over one’s lifetime and can cause cataracts, macular degeneration and cancers in and around the eyes,” Ms Loh said. “Squinting and UV light also causes wrinkles. People who work outdoors often get pingueculae or pterygium – unsightly yellowy pink growths on the white part of the eyes.”

Short-term problems from not wearing sunglasses can include a gritty feeling in the eyes, watering, excessive blinking, puffiness and sunburn. Sunglasses should have a wrap-around style that blocks out sideways glare and dryness resulting from wind.

While Ms Loh said that straining your eyes at a computer screen all day cannot cause permanent damage, the practice can still cause daily troubles. “If the eyes are undercorrected or undiagnosed coordination problems exist, sore eyes, headaches and decreased productivity can result,” Ms Loh said. “Also, people who use computers often forget to blink as they are concentrating so much. Eyedrops like Refresh, Genteal, Blink and Theratears can be kept by the computer for use when the eyes feel dry.” Make sure you take five to 10 minute breaks from your computer every hour.

Ms Loh said performing eye exercises does little for most people. “Eye exercises can only help if there is a coordination problem to be fixed,” Ms Loh said.

Tired, puffy eyes? “Sleep can do wonders for the appearance of your eyes,” Ms Loh advised. “To relax tired eyes, or eyes that keep twitching, gel-filled eyemasks are cooling and can reduce swelling around eyes.” People with puffy eyes as a result of allergies can try non-allergenic pillows, air filters and flushing their eyes with eye lubricants. If you have a cold or flu, avoid rubbing your eyes or wearing contact lenses.

Ensure you see an optometrist if your sight starts to change, especially in later age. “As we get older, individuals should be aware of any unusual visual phenomena; an increase in frequency or number of floating spots, flashes of light, or wonkiness of things that should be straight,” Ms Loh said.

Healthy Eyes

• Don’t smoke.
• Wear sunglasses with an EPF of 10.
• Take five to ten minute breaks from computer screens each hour.
• Use eye drops for dry eyes and to increase tear stability.
• Eat plenty of foods rich in omega 3s, zinc, magnesium and carotenoids.
• Take vitamin C, E and B6.
• Get eight hours sleep each night.
• Avoid too much alcohol and smoky environments.

Maya Anderson is a full-time freelance journalist who specialises in health, fitness, nutrition and wellbeing issues. To contact Maya, email maya.anderson@hotmail.com

By Dr. Tom Buckley

Sound familiar? Do you find it impossible to take time out in your office to concentrate on finishing a task, or even have a quick ‘nothing break”, only to be constantly interrupted by the phone ringing, email alerts not to mention your colleagues’ needs? And that’s before we factor in family or friends’ interruptions as well as much needed personal breaks.

Do you find that you are often disturbed twice or three times in your day in order for someone to ensure you go their message? Well you’re not alone and recent research suggests that for workers, getting more than there minute’s sustained work without interruptions has become mission impossible in our technologically driven work environments.

Researchers at the University of California shadowed a dozen information workers for three days and found that in their office areas they were interrupted on average every three minutes by phone calls, text messages or people popping in to see what’s wrong when they didn’t answer emails or phone messages instantly. Such interruptions take up over two hours of the working day and only 77% of interrupted work is resumed the same day. 77%!

Other research from the Institute of Psychiatry in London that reported being bombarded by emails and phone calls has a greater detrimental effect on IQ to smoking marijuana. You can only abuse the brain for so long eh!

Rosalind Pickard from MIT Boston suggests some really useful tips for surfing the wave of interruptions. These are my favourites:

1.    Get a bigger monitor – apparently helps people work up to 44% faster – works – I’ve done it

2.    Put up a “do not disturb” sign and enforce it

3.    Rearrange your office furniture so that you desk faces away from the flow of people – bad karma I hear you say but your there to get the job done

4.    Stand up to talk to people who interrupt you  - so that they can see that they are doing – also good for you physical well being

5.    Put a big clock in your office in view of visitors and keep an eye on it while you are talking – be careful with this one!

6.    Be prepared for interruptions and factor it into your to-do list - perhaps make it known the good times for interruptions. I have colleague who puts a picture of a shark on her door when she does not want to be interrupted – I don’t walk in then so it works

7.    Keep a note pad and write down what you are doing before you were interrupted – this definitely works for me

8.    and finally…..cutting 2 centimeters off the front legs of a visitors chair makes it just enough to keep visitors visits short!

Tom Buckley a University lecturer and researcher in the field or Health Sciences whose doctoral studies focused on physiological responses to stress. Author of several peer reviewed publications and supporting author of Flip the Switch, his current research interests are in human factors related to performance and wellbeing

By Gary Bertwistle

One of the many things I love about what I do is that I have the opportunity to meet different people and hear their stories. I was once told that everyone has a story. No matter what you do in life, your position with family, the community, religion or business, everyone has a story. I’ve been fascinated by the stories that I’ve heard from taxi drivers, truck drivers, cleaners, the elderly, children, a CEO or strangers. Every now and then you hear a great line or a great story that sparks off your own imagination and creativity. Grammy award winning singer songwriter Fiona Apple talked about song writing on the television series Iconoclasts. Fiona said that she’s always looking and listening for a story. She said quite often somebody will say something and it will just be an expression, a line or a meaning and that starts her thought process. She said that may create a rhyme for a second line and before you know it you’ve got a chorus and then it’s not long before you have a full song.

This happened to me recently when I had a meeting with a property developer. His wife had contacted me after he had bought my second book Who Stole My Mojo? and wanted some of my time to talk about how he could bring Mojo in to his work life. Although this is not what I normally do I was quite interested to see where this guy was at particularly because his wife thought it would be valuable for us to talk. So over an espresso we talked about his business which was developing properties worth tens of millions of dollars. A lot of his developments had been in the rural sector and he was a particularly interesting country guy with an amazing talent for doing Donald Trump style negotiations. Negotiating was his thing. He loved it.

However as he talked you could tell by his body language and the words that he used that he’d simply lost his Mojo. He loved doing a deal and that brought a certain fire to the belly but more and more he was finding that even when negotiating, he didn’t have this fire in the belly and felt as though he’d lost his Mojo. Thankfully he’d loved my book and wanted to know more.

I asked him when he felt as though he had this fire going on, he felt like his Mojo was working and he had his best ideas.

Here’s what he said:
‘Quite often I find myself going through the motions in front of bank managers, consultants and contractors in dull boardrooms where I just think to myself, why am I here?  It’s at these times when I normally jump in the truck and head to the country. Whenever I get out in the paddocks and start working the stock on my bike it just feels right. I have my best ideas when I’m out amongst the stock. There’s something about having to move 100 head of cattle into the pens, and if one gets loose nothing else matters except getting that one problem child back in the paddock. I’ve got to drive 15kms on dirt roads to get to the property and as soon as I hit the dirt everything just changes. I feel as though I can leave the city rat race behind and my thinking, feelings and ideas become so much clearer.’

I loved that statement – when I hit the dirt. Now for you it might not be going to the country and hitting the dirt on your property. But your sanctuary could be as simple as jumping in the water and swimming laps at the pool. For others it could be being at the beach or a Sunday morning in the sun, a good book and a great cup of coffee.  For some it’s just wrestling on the carpet with the kids or it could be putting on the running shoes and knocking out 10 or 15kms. For my mum I know its doing stitch work or patchwork in the lounge room in silence.  What you need to think about is how you hit the dirt and more importantly, how you can include it into your weekly routine?  It’s that quiet time when you regroup, relax, stimulate your spirit and get reinvigorated. It does not have to happen every day but when you feel like you’ve lost your creative spark, you’ve lost your Mojo and its time to regroup.

It’s important to remember that you don’t have to replicate someone else’s way of finding that creative spirit. It’s your own way and each of us has that way tucked inside us somewhere. It may even take you a couple of goes to decide what works best for you but the important this is that you know to look for it. So if you want the zip back in your imagination, creativity and innovative mind and you truly want to think differently, hit the dirt.

Gary speaks to audiences around the world about unlocking their thinking, imagination and ideas in the areas of performance, problem solving, innovation, marketing, strategy, creativity and learning. He is the author of The keys to Creativity and Who Stole my Mojo.

by Dr. Joanna McMillan Price

Soy is a health food right? Beneficial effects of soy have been reported in relation to heart disease, breast cancer, prostate cancer, menopausal symptoms, thyroid function, bone health and even cognitive function. Yet conversely media reports and numerous websites claim exactly the opposite. Frightening headlines touting “the truth about soy” allege soy is toxic to humans and causes numerous detrimental health outcomes including reproductive problems, an increased risk of breast and prostate cancers, decreased immune function, gut problems, and in children early menarche and feminisation of boys. It’s enough to turn you off your soy latte for life. But who do we believe?

Soy is a legume that is fairly unique in the plant kingdom, in that it provides all of the essential amino acids (the building blocks of protein) that humans need. In contrast almost all other plant foods are missing or low in one or more of these amino acids, meaning that vegetarians must consume a variety of plant foods to meet their protein requirements. For this reason soy beans, tofu, tempeh, soy drink and other soy foods have long been a mainstay of vegetarian and vegan diets. But on the whole soy foods have not played a major role in the typical Western diet. In contrast soy is regularly consumed by many Asians at all stages of life from weaning to old age. This difference in levels of soy consumption is what got the ball rolling in soy research. Scientists found that levels of heart disease and many cancers, including breast cancer, were far lower in these soy-eating Asian countries, compared to levels in the West. Numerous studies followed to try to identify what it was about soy that might be protective.

Research has centred on two aspects of soy – soy protein and compounds found in soy called isoflavones. Isoflavones are phytoestrogens (meaning ‘like oestrogen’) and are similar in structure to the hormone oestrogen. These phytoestrogens can act in two ways:

1.    They can act like oestrogen. This may be beneficial during menopause for example, when natural oestrogen levels are dropping. Theoretically consuming sufficient phytoestrogens-rich soy at this time can reduce menopausal symptoms.

2.    They can block the action of oestrogen. This is potentially beneficial in for example breast tissue where oestrogen stimulates growth of both normal and cancerous cells. At least one of the isoflavones in soy, called genistein, has been shown in animal studies to inhibit the development of breast cancer.

Additionally, isoflavones have been shown to be powerful antioxidants and may in this way contribute to protection against diseases including cancer and heart disease.

Soy & heart disease

In 1995 a report was published in the prestigious New England Journal of Medicine that concluded (on the basis of 38 controlled clinical trials) that soy protein significantly reduced blood cholesterol levels, particularly LDL (‘bad’) cholesterol, and triglycerides (another blood fat linked to an increased risk of heart disease).  On the back of this report the U.S. Food and Drug Administration now allows food manufacturers to claim on the labels of low-fat foods containing at least 6.25g of soy protein that soy can help reduce the risk of heart disease.  Many other countries, including the UK, have followed suit but as yet Food Standards Australia and New Zealand (FSANZ) have not approved such a claim here and it is unlikely that they will. A more recent review of the evidence published in the journal ‘Circulation’ earlier this year, suggests that this claim is rather premature. It concludes that soy protein has only a very small effect on LDL-cholesterol, reducing it by a meager 3% or so, while having no effect on triglycerides or ‘good’ cholesterol. Furthermore the studies showing a beneficial reduction in cholesterol used large quantities of soy - ~50g a day. In reality this equates to drinking about 7 cups of soy drink or close to 600g of tofu – every day! You would have to be pretty dedicated to keep up this level of intake. Nevertheless, the authors did recognise that consuming soy foods in place of animal foods (high in saturated fat and cholesterol) should benefit heart and overall health since soy foods are low in saturated fat, a source of healthy unsaturated fats, and rich in fibre and other nutrients. All this research is really telling us that having soy drink instead of milk and the odd tofu burger is not enough to bring down your cholesterol levels. But, choose the tofu burger over a regular burger, and replace the fattier cuts of meat in your diet with tofu or tempeh, and your heart will be thankful.

Soy & Cancer

If soy isoflavones have the ability to block the action of oestrogen, then they can potentially reduce the risk of hormone-dependent cancers such as breast and prostate. Some of the early studies comparing cancer rates across countries showed a benefit of soy consumption, and many soy and health food companies leapt on the results. However the picture is far from clear and a few worrying reports have emerged suggesting that concentrated soy supplements in fact stimulated cancer growth in subjects with existing breast cancer.  Of course this so often happens in nutrition research – scientists think they have isolated the important component of a food and try giving it as a supplement and low and behold the effects are not the same. Try as we might a good diet just cannot be packaged in a pill. There are currently several large scale studies underway to further investigate the role of soy in cancer and until the results are in, we really can’t say.

Soy and the Menopause

Many women have sworn that eating more soy foods during the menopausal years has helped to reduce symptoms such as hot flashes and mood swings. However the vast majority of studies have failed to confirm these anecdotal findings. Yet it is interesting to note that the reported incidence of hot flashes differs across countries with varying soy intakes. For example while 70-80% of European women report hot flashes, only 18% and 14% do so in China and Singapore respectively. These differences are perhaps due to the way in which soy is consumed – not as supplements but as key foods in an overall healthy diet.

Soy & Reproductive Health

Reports of girls starting menarche at an increasingly young age and the feminization of our boys and men are among the more horrific of the claims made against soy. The basis for this is legitimate enough – that if infants are fed soy formula and young children consuming soy in an increasing number of foods they are exposed to the effect of an oestrogen-like substance for a far longer period of time. Certainly infants in Asia are rarely given soy formula, but they are fed many soy foods from the age of weaning. These children have no ill effects on their reproductive systems and there seems little concern from soy foods. With respect to soy infant formula, a major study published in 2001 in the Journal of the American Medical Association, followed more than 800 men and women fed soy formula as infants into adult life. They found no significant differences between this group and those fed a cows’ milk formula, including any effects on the reproductive system. That said there are those who seem to believe soy formula is healthier and there is simply no basis for this. The bottom line is breast-feeding infants has indisputable advantages to bottle feeding, but modified cows’ milk formulas are a safe and effective alternative. Soy-based formulas were developed for use in infants allergic or intolerant to cows’ milk and therefore only consider using them if advised to do so by your doctor or health professional.

The Soy Bottom Line

While there seems little evidence to support the alarmist claims of the anti-soy network, neither is there compelling evidence that soy is quite the health food some have cracked it up to be. The traditional Asian diet, rich in soy foods, has been shown to be a healthy diet that undoubtedly plays a role in their low rates of several chronic diseases including heart disease, obesity and certain cancers. What they don’t do is take concentrated soy or isoflavone supplements, nor do they consume a plethora of processed, packaged food marketed as healthy just because it is made from soy, alongside a diet too high in saturated fat, processed foods and so on typical of many Westerners. Traditional soy foods such as tofu, soy drinks made from whole soybeans, tempeh and whole soy beans are healthy additions to your diet, particularly if they replace processed and fatty meats. But there appears to be nothing to be gained, and potentially much to lose, from trying to take the easy route and package soy in a pill.

Joanna is a popular media spokesperson and is the resident nutrition expert for the Today show on the Nine Network. She is a health writer for Life etc magazine and writes a regular column “Ask the Food Doctor” for Slimming & Health. Joanna has authored or co-authored a number of books including the internationally published The Low GI Diet and The Low GI Diet Cookbook. Most recently Joanna teamed up with ‘The Food Coach’ Judy Davie and their joint book Star Foods (ABC Books) was released April 2008. Her next book is a must have guide for all women who want to look and feel their best, called Inner Health Outer Beauty. It will be released by Random House April 2009. www.joannamcmillanprice.com

This article was first published in Life etc

By Glenn Capelli

Country music has always been an interesting area. Consider the following real song titles from the country & Western genre:

•    How Can I Miss You, If You Wont Go Away?
•    She Got The Ring and I Got the Finger and
•    You’re The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly (a duet!)

However, there is also some wisdom to be found in a Country & Western Greatest Hits CD. Consider The Kenny Rogers 1978 hit written by Don Schlitz – The Gambler.

You got to know when to hold ‘em
Know when to fold ‘em
Know when to walk away and
Know when to run

Sound advice.

In the best selling Leadership book Good To Great author Jim Collins says leadership needs to get the right people in the right seats on the bus. You can extend this and suggest that thinking is about using the right strategies in the right situations. Know when to fold ‘em, know when to hold ‘em…

Psychologist and researcher Robert Sternberg has a view of Intelligence where he says successfully intelligent people:

1.    Know their own strengths
2.    Know their weaknesses
3.    Don’t allow ego to block the fact that they have weaknesses
4.    Learn to teamwork with people who have other strengths

I also think successfully intelligent people know how and when to utilise different thinking strategies.

1.    Know when to be Analytical
2.    Know when to be Creative
3.    Know when to be Practical

And do all of this with a good baseline of Emotional Smarts as well.

I often think the best answer to most questions is ‘It depends’. Good thinkers are able to consider the context of what is going on and what approach will work best given the context.

Good thinkers also sometimes realise that there may not be one single answer or response to a complex issue but that the best answer or response requires a mix of partial answers and responses. A little bit of this mixed with a little bit of that and a dash of something else thrown in for good measure.

Don Schlitz wrote many C&W hits including On The Other Hand recorded by Randy Travis. This song reminds us that most situations have a variety of ways at looking at them: more good advice from Country & Western wisdom.

Happy trails to you…

Glenn Capelli is the author of Thinking Caps book and radio pieces as well as being a top Keynote Speaker. www.glenncapelli.com. You can contact Glenn at glenn@glenncapelli.com

By Rob Wilkins

I was asked the other day by one of my participants what they could do to refresh their minds?  I had to ask whether they were talking about new knowledge or simply exercising the mind.  They then went on to talk about how, when they are working or studying, they sometimes feel fatigued.  I asked them whether it was physical or mental. They felt it was mental or thinking fatigue.

It raises a point which I think most people need to be mindful of and have a presence of thought about.  We tend to look at ourselves in a series of isolated moments.  That is we want our reflection to be linear – a series of events.  In truth, most of what we do is linked.  An example might be; I was really tired last night.  I had to skip breakfast in the morning because I was running late. It was a tough day at work with back to back meetings.  Then the train was crowded.  Then the traffic was dense. By the time I ate dinner it was eight o’clock.  I crashed into bed not long after!

In isolation this series of events looks like a typical day for a lot of us.  But if we reflect on ourselves holistically we would realise that everything we do is part of a symbiont system.  That is we rely on many stimulants, interactions and energy sources around us and cannot function correctly if we do not have them.  If we reflected on what it is that gives us energy, makes us happy, keeps us calm or helps us perform then we will start to make time for those things that refresh us.

When looking to refresh our minds I have a list of 8 things that work for me (perhaps for you too!) and you will see that the physical as well as the mental are included.  This is because our minds need some basics: time, rest, stimulation and oxygen.  Of course your brain requires the oxygen and your mind benefits from it.  Try this list and feel free to write back and suggest other mind refreshers for the Recharge Lounge audience!

Music

Much has been written about Music and it’s cathartic benefits.  All I know is that it makes me happy and a general disposition of happiness energises me.

Recreation

No doubt about it, a nice walk or a bike ride gets the blood pumping, oxygenates the blood and releases the natural chemical base that seems to refresh us.  Always look to walk and breathe.  Even 15 minutes will provide benefit.

Physical exercise

Enough said.  Think of your mind, body and spirit.  As I said, look at yourself holistically. (I need more of this!)

Crosswords and Sudoku are your friends

I am big on both of these.  There is a big fad currently on brain training.  Even the electronic gaming industry has bought into it.  The problem with games is you obtain mastery quickly and the brain tends to not be exercised after mastery. The key is to know whether what you are doing TRANSFERS into our overall cognitive abilities and mental faculties, as measured independently from the game itself, and enables you to have a better improved memory, concentration, decision-making, planning skills etc.  You need to be mindful that you have growth and a changed state. There is a growing body of evidence (See Guy McKann’s book) to suggest that crosswords and Sudoku contribute towards your cognitive abilities.

Interact and examine your state of change

Meet new people and always take the time to interact with the people you know, love and respect.  The stimulation offered by other opinions and knowing or being mindful of their effects on your opinions and thoughts is a powerful disposition to have.  It allows you to be flexible and adaptive and coninuously refreshes the mind!

Read and keep reading

I think this sums it up; reading a good story can help you forget some of the problems in your own life:

“I can’t get around much anymore,” said the 100-year-old woman who lived in the nursing home. “When I go somewhere, I have to go in a wheelchair now. But when I read, I can go anywhere, anytime I want. And no one has to help me!”  There are too many benefits!  Just remember to choose wisely in terms of what you read.  I find fiction refreshes me.

Sleep

7 Hours is what I need.  Again, what does that symbiont system of yours require?  What are the things tomorrow that are dependant on your sleep today?  Always remember, your mind requires that sleep to feel refreshed.

Be Mindful

Mindfulness is a natural state of living and recognising life moment by moment.  As I write this I am reminded of Ellen Langer’s description of mindfulness:

”Mindfulness is a state in which one is open to creating categories, open to new information, and being aware of more than one perspective.”

Be good to yourself.

Rob Wilkins is a Learning and Development professional with over 20 years experience in Corporate Learning and Development, Management and Executive Development, Learning Technologies and Organisational Performance Improvement. Currently completing his Masters in Knowledge Management and Business Information, Rob is considered a specialist in eLearning and Personal Learning Environments with a strong Knowledge Management influence guiding his research and professional development. Email: dawilkos@tpg.com.au : or more of his insights on a daily basis: Blog: http://roalp.blogspot.com

By John Buchanan

In my recent book, “If Better is Possible”, I suggest that all of us play a coaching role in some form or other. Some have the formal title attached, that is, coach of a certain sporting team or one of the growth occupations of the 21st century, ‘life or personal coach’. Others have less visible acknowledgment of their coaching role, or at least part of their job function, such occupations as a teacher, a manager, a minister of the church, a parent, journalist. All of these people actively engage in the very special role of coaching.

So then what is coaching? And what can be done to help you coach?

As you can see, I differentiate very little between coaching, teaching, parenting, educating, managing.  I think there are a number of key principles to coaching which we all deliver -  dependent upon life experiences, personality, clientele, and situations. I will touch on some of the key principles, and suggest what we can do for the remainder of the season….

1.RELATIONSHIPS and the WHOLE PERSON

Before I can coach someone effectively, there must be a relationship established between us. Some relationships grow quickly due to the ‘chemistry’, the ease with which I can interact with someone and therefore the honesty of that relationship. Other relationships may never really develop because of that lack of ‘chemistry’ – each of us lack some commonality (of background, of interests, of friends, etc) which means the relationship will always be distant.

Nevertheless this latter relationship is still a relationship. It means the coach in this case is allowed only a minimal insight into the life of the person with whom they are coaching.

The trick then is to find another way into understanding the individual. Generally, the approach is through friends, contemporaries and sometimes partners so that the coach is aware of what can continue to build what is existing, and what can destroy the tenuous links.

So as coach seek to know the WHOLE PERSON – not just the athlete, the student, the staffer, the Sunday church goer. Who is this person? What makes them tick? What and who are important in their lives? What goals are they striving for? How can I best help this person?

The message here is that everyone is different, and as coaches we need to invest time in getting to know all our ‘flock’ as best we can, and as much as the individual wants to let the coach into their life. I have found that when I am most satisfied with what I am doing as a coach, it means I am putting in time with all those around me – I feel I am ‘in touch’ with my players and staff. As a consequence, I believe I am in a position to best help them, should it be required. Isn’t this the same as a parent?

I think business and its managers today do not invest sufficient time in their greatest asset and resource – its people. We are all too busy, caught up in self directed needs, communicating through impersonal medium and using surrogate means to superficially deal with a world of self made complexity.

2. Make yourself REDUNDANT

As with any relationship, the longer it lasts, the more change that occurs. The coach needs to keep pulling back, no longer be the directive guide, but become more the safety net – allow the individual/athlete/child to grow. It does mean they will fall down many times, but rather than rushing in to pick them up, the coach assesses their ability to pick themselves up, get back on the bike again, and continue to grow.

There is no science to this process, but it does stem from the coach-person relationship. Knowing the individual will make a big difference in providing the best learning environment and the best way to manage redundancy!

3. CONTINUAL IMPROVEMENT

There should be no coach who does not want his or her ‘athlete’ to grow, to improve. The only blocker to this approach will be if the individual being coached has made the choice not to.

Shane Warne, Glenn McGrath, Adam Gilchrist, Ricky Ponting and all the greats in their respective fields follow this mantra. Greats in literature, ballet, sport, music, politics are only accorded such status because of their longevity and their ability to produce consistently highly skilled performances. There is little doubt that their individual skills are at the peak of their respective fields; but what has kept them there is their desire to continue to be the best – an ongoing process of not being satisfied with where they were yesterday and are today.

Now while we are not all so lucky to have our ranks filled with greats of the game, the principle of Never Being Satisfied, or Continual Improvement holds true for everyone.

Our job as coach is to make sure that we do everything in our work, home or social  environment that encourages individuals to explore their potential, to venture outside their comfort zones, to learn more about themselves and in so doing expand their horizons as people.

There are other key coaching principles such as VISION, LEARNING ENVIRONMENT, CULTURE, PLANNING which I will visit next time. However, I think it is very important not to underestimate the role we can all play as ‘coach’. If we do see and think of ourselves as ‘coach’ and understand that we have the capacity to influence the lives of others both positively and negatively, then I believe we can create a very powerful method for the teams that we coach – families, organizations, communities, countries!

Best of luck for the next part of your season.

John Buchanan is the former coach of the Australian Cricket Team. He is in demand as a speaker, corporate coach and sports coach. John Buchanan is available to share his philosophy for success expanding the benefits well beyond the cricket team and into any area. www.buchanancoaching.com

by Joe Bonington

Most of us know that one of the benefits of exercise is an increase in the levels of serotonin around the body, serotonin being one of the happy hormones. This effect is often referred to as runners high and has been proven to help ward off the effects of mild depression and to lift ones mood in what those in the psychology game often call “a change of state”.

Did you also know that research shows that people who have an attitude of gratitude have both better physical and mental health (McCollough, Tsang, Emmons 2003). During this study 3 groups were set up. One wrote down just a list of daily events, another wrote only unpleasant experiences that had happened to them. The third group had to write daily on all they were thankful for.

The results were astounding. Some of the findings were as follows:

-    People who take time to deliberately acknowledge their gratitude are more likely to feel more loved

-    They also found that more kindness was reciprocated to them

-    The group who were grateful were more likely to help others

-    They were more likely to be healthy and partake in regular exercise

-    And more likely to complete personal goals.

On top of this the ‘Grateful Group’ reported feelings of increased determination, optimism, alertness, energy, and enthusiasm.

So, imagine now how the effects of gratefulness can be increased and enhanced by putting it together with some great Serotonin-lifting cardio exercise. Great motivators such as Wayne Dyer, Tony Robbins and Brian Tracey all advocate the use of gratitude to help start your day on the correct mental level, whilst warming up for exercise or taking a stroll.

We are going to take it a step further. This exercise is the Walk or Run of Gratitude.

Let’s deal first with the walk of gratitude:

This can be done at any time of the day. For maximal positive effect on your day try doing it at the start.

The walk should be a brisk paced walk, not a hell for leather power walk. Just walk at a comfortable but brisk pace for you. One that you can note the goings on around you, acknowledge your surroundings and be in tune with where you are, walking at a pace that makes you feel alive and strong.

Walk for a couple of minutes just finding your rhythm and your place in the world. Now it is time to start giving thanks. There are many belief systems out there and I am not going to get involved in any particular one, for the sake of this article we will throw our gratitude out to the universe but feel free to thank any supreme being, gods or energies you wish. We should show gratitude both internally and externally, we must acknowledge ourselves as well as others. You can thank yourself first for having gotten yourself to this point and then thank the universe for helping you, for giving you understanding. Thank the universe for surrounding you with the people who are special in your life. Then thank all these individuals for what they have contributed or for being who they are. Once you get going, a very humbling thought often occurs….. how many things you need to be thankful for. There is a lot, even the challenges in our lives for what they teach us and the ways they make us stronger… and don’t forget to thank those whom you may not have seen eye to eye with, for what they have taught you.

For you to do a Run of Gratitude, this is almost zen running. You are not going for your best time, you’re running at a great pace that makes you feel alive, a pace with which you can feel joy with the fact that you can run. Again allow time to find yourself and then start your gratitude thoughts.
Gratitude runs and walks should be a minimum of half an hour. Try and pick an inspiring place to exercise, maybe a bush track or on the beach. Be really in tune with how you feel emotionally before, during and after. I personally tend to feel a build up, as my run/walk continues, of wellbeing and also of excitement, until by the end of the walk or run I feel like I’m going to explode with gratitude to the world, my family, my colleagues and my friends.

It must be quite a sight this bloke, running along with a huge grin on his face, muttering thank you’s under his breath.

So add in a run or a walk of gratitude at least twice a week in addition to your and see the difference in how you feel towards the people around you or to your circumstances. Notice how much more energised you feel and how much more productive you may be on Gratitude days and especially notice how this exercise effects your relationships and how people regard you as well as how you regard them.

Joe is one of Sydney’s most successful Personal Trainers and Lifestyle Coaches. His exciting approach to training has seen him receive nominations for the industry’s Fitness Professional of the Year Award and he has featured on several TV shows such as Today Tonight, Business Breakfast and the Channnel 9 series, Camp Dare. He was also responsible for the development and training of Fitness First’s Bootcamp programme nationally. Joe has mentored and developed the businesses and skills of over 30 great Personal Trainers. Contact Joe