The main thing
By Gary Bertwistle
It’s one thing to recover, but the question is are you really recovering or just paying lip service to it? I recently went on holidays to Hayman Island. Its one of my favourite island resorts and I can’t speak highly enough about the island, the accommodation, the food, the service and the pool. As I sat at breakfast it was staggeringly obvious that people were unable to disconnect from their world and have a proper holiday at Hayman. As I looked around the beautiful dining room on the beach, 7 out of 8 tables had mobile phones sitting on the top of the table. As I looked out onto the beach, there were husbands pacing up and down the beach on their mobile phone at 8.30 in the morning. There were husbands and wives sitting opposite each other at the breakfast table, both on mobile phones. At dinner there were young girls sitting in front of their parents sending texts throughout dinner. By the pool in the middle of the day while their children played in the water, parents sat on the edge on mobile phones. Fathers paced backwards and forwards down the side of the pool on their mobiles. Anxious fathers sat knee deep in water sending text messages to the office.
If you’re going to go on holidays, then truly disconnect and go on holidays. I totally agree with all that Andy has talked about in Flip the Switch and throughout the Recovery Lounge website. However people are paying lip service to it, and they think because they’re on an island they’re recharging, recovering and reinvigorating. They’re kidding themselves.
I recently worked with a group of CEO’s and prior to my speech there was general chatter around the room about things that were significant in their life. One of the CEO’s of a large Australian corporation had said that he had gone on holidays the week after it was budget time. When he left the office the business had recorded a $6.8million profit, but whilst on holidays on his very first day away, the profit had dropped to $4 million due to the drop in currency and exchange rates. He said naturally on his first morning away at the beach, his blackberry went ballistic and he spent the next week fixing budgets and working out how they could recuperate the millions of dollars they’d lost due to the currency exchange. He said ‘As you can imagine it wasn’t much of a holiday but the kids had a good time, and that’s the main thing.’ Well I’m sorry that isn’t the main thing. The main thing is if you are truly going to recharge and recover, then disconnect and spend time properly engaging with your children. Just because you’re sitting by the pool on your crackberry doesn’t mean you’re on holidays with your family. Its sad that people are forgetting how to relax. People are forgetting who they are because their identity is totally built around the workplace. And its not just blokes that are doing it, women and wives are just as guilty from what I have observed around Australia.
A man walked up to a Zen master and said ‘Master, teach me the secret of Zen.’ The Zen Master said ‘When working just work, when resting just rest, when eating just eat.’ The man said ‘That’s it’?’ The Zen Master said ‘That’s it.’ The man said ‘It can’t be that easy.’ The Zen Master said ‘It is that easy but its surprising how few people can do it.’
If you are going to rest, recover, and reinvigorate your world, then do just that. If you’re reading, just read. If you’re with your children, be with them, be totally engaged, talk to them eye to eye and listen to what they’re saying. Play and properly engage rather than disrespecting them by playing on your mobile and thinking you are giving them your full attention. Kids know and so does your partner. When you’re eating just eat. No mobile phones, no crackberry’s, no PDA’s, no iPhones. In fact I was talking to a guy just recently who said that his house has a no technology policy from the minute he gets home in the evening and across weekends. This was due to the fact that he and his wife were no longer talking because of computers, phones and blackberrys. The no technology philosophy in his household he says saved his marriage.
I think Andy’s books, writings and speeches are spot on with regards to recovery. Recovery is a must in our current society. However you need to listen to Andy May the accountability guy and hold yourself totally accountable. If you’re going to do it, do it but don’t kid yourself by thinking you’re recovering by being on an island when the whole time you are connected to the rest of the world by technology. Be it on holidays, having coffee with a friend, walking the dog, or hitting the gym, the message is the same. It is not recovery if you are still connected. The main thing is to truly be there.
When you lose your job, you’ll work out what is really the main thing. If you lose your health, you’ll work out what really is the main thing.
Gary speaks to audiences around the world about unlocking their thinking, imagination and ideas in the areas of performance, problem solving, innovation, marketing, strategy, creativity and learning. He is the author of The keys to Creativity and Who Stole my Mojo.