By Michael Licenblat

Do you become stressed when you don’t succeed in achieving what you want?  The very reason why failure and setbacks damages so many egos, breaks so many hearts, and steals so many dreams may lie in how resilient you are to pressure.

Resilience is characterized as being able to adapt to, and bounce back from, tough situations without compromising your objective.  Being able to bounce back quickly from any setback, instead of dwelling in self-pity, allows you to get on with your life and keep working towards your target.

So, how do you develop resilience to the emotional stress of setbacks and failure?

When you cut yourself, your body instantly goes to work to clot the blood, seal the wound and fight any infection.  If you break a bone, you body immediately goes to work on protecting the area with inflammation, healing the bone tissue, and restoring circulation.  Your body is innately resilient and bounces back from setbacks because it adapts itself to restore balance and health.

In nature, the willow is a strong, resilient tree that can tolerate strong weather conditions because it bends easily in the wind without breaking.   It adapts to its environment in order to not just survive, but thrive.

The degree to which your mind is able to adapt, and rise above, your setbacks, instead of getting sucked into self-pity, will determine how quickly you bounce back and get on with your life.  Here’s how you can use your mind to bounce back from any setback with glory…

Focus on the upside

Why does a setback hurt so much?  Is it because it makes you feel like a failure?  Is it because you feel as if you are not good enough, and that no matter what you try you aren’t going to succeed?  No.  Setbacks hurt when you focus your mind on the pain.

Have you noticed how well people can cope with pain or injury well until they see blood?

In one study, three groups of participants were asked to soak their arm in a bucket of freezing cold iced water for as along as they could stand it.  During the submersion, the first group watched funny movies and told jokes to each other, the second group practiced a relaxation technique, and the third group just sat there in silence.   Groups A & B were able to increase their pain threshold by 50%, whereas there was no change to the pain threshold of group C.[i]

By refocusing your mind on the empowering aspects of the setback, instead of the painful ones, you will bounce back quickly without feeling drained by the event.

Dr. Maxwell Maltz, a renowned plastic surgeon, began research into the human mind.  He noticed that with some people, once the bandages were removed after receiving cosmetic plastic surgery, if their internal self-esteem had not changed, then no matter how perfect a job he did, they still felt ugly.  What they focused on, regardless of the reality, is what they experienced as true.

What you focus on, regardless of the outcome of the situation, will determine whether you feel confident and self-assured or irritable and depressed.

Tip: Pay attention to the aspects of the situation that you felt good about.  Focus on the aspects that did go well.  Did you apply yourself well?  If so, then be pleased that you did that!  Were you proactive and used your strengths?  Well, that takes courage, so if you did that then be proud of yourself.    Did you give your best effort?  Then, that’s all you can ask of yourself, so acknowledge yourself for having the confidence to be your best.

Tip: Acknowledge how you feel, but don’t dwell on the setback.  Why waste your time doing focusing on something that hurts?  It won’t get you any closer to what you want.  It sounds harsh (because it is) but you have to tell yourself  ‘Get up - Get over it – Get on with it’.

Is it a disaster or a learning experience?

Dr Rich Allen (Ph.D. in educational psychology) has studied how the brain receives, processes, stores and recalls information.  In a leadership program of 80 participants, a 60-second movie clip was shown of a car traveling down a dirt road and then colliding with a barn.  Immediately after the clip the group was given a list of questions about what they had just seen.  Two different questionnaires were then distributed.  Half the participants were asked ‘How fast was the car moving when the car bumped into the barn?’  The other half were asked ‘How fast was the car moving when the car smashed into the barn?

The group that was asked to describe the collision as ‘bumped’ reported an average speed of 42km/hr.  The group that was asked to describe the collision as ‘smashed’ reported an average speed of 67km/hr.  The alteration of a single word produced a significant change in the participants’ perception of the film clip.

In the same sense, if you describe your ‘setback’ as a personal reflection of your self worth, then you will probably feel like a failure and give up.  Your setbacks feel painful and you feel worthless when you describe them in terms of ‘you’.  Comments like ‘It’s all my fault’, ‘I always achieved what I set my mind to - why can’t I just get the darn job?’, ‘What’s wrong with me?’ is an invitation for self-pity and misery.  Even the word ‘reject’, which is defined as ‘to refuse to accept or use; to throw away; to discard’ conjures up images of worthless garbage tossed away into the bin.   What a ridiculous way to describe a human being!

Putting yourself down reduces the effort you put into your other aspirations.   Research has found that people with lower self-esteem set lower expectations for their performance[ii], underestimate their capabilities and set less challenging or mediocre goals[iii] which leads to putting in less effort than those with high self esteem[iv].   In short, taking rejection and setbacks personally can lead to not trying as hard in your next life challenge.

However, describing the event in terms of the ‘learning’ you gained from it, allows you to feel empowered that this situation will make you either smarter, stronger, and one step closer to a ‘getting what you want from life’.

Look at setbacks is as a stepping-stone that points out the path to where you want to go.  In that sense, the setback is actually a helping hand that shows you the way that didn’t work, so that you can find what path that will work.  Without knowing what doesn’t work, how can you expect to grow and improve?

As a child, you would have fallen over many times before you finally took your first steps.  As I watch my own children grow and learn how to walk, I notice how each failed attempt teaches them how to improve, adapt and overcome.  Each false step is actually a step closer to the right step.  A setback is your arena to learn how to improve, optimize and strengthen so that you can get what you want.

Tip: Describe your setback experience in empowering terms instead of ‘put-down’ language.   Instead of wallowing in self-pity, look at how it is showing you the way to getting what you want.   Ask yourself:

‘What can I learn from this?’

‘How can this situation make me stronger, smarter or happier in my life?’

‘What do I know now, that I didn’t know before the situation?’

‘How will this outcome help me improve in my next challenge?’

Is that being a Pollyanna, pie-in-the-sky optimist who is less in touch with reality?  To a certain degree, yes.  Will being positive and optimistic help you bounce back from rejection faster, keep your self-esteem intact and your motivation strong?  Absolutely!

Becoming resilient to pressure is a choice of how you wish to react to the obstacles and setbacks that life throws at you.  Now it’s up to you decide whether you will let failure and setbacks stop you in your tracks and wallow in self-pity, or whether you will see the positive learning and focus on what you have done well, so that you can keep on trying until you get what you want from life.

It’s your move.

Michael Licenblat B.Sc.(Psych) is a Resilience Expert who helps people in business bounce back fast from pressure, stress and burnout in their work and life. He is a professional speaker, coach and author of three books.

by Rosemary Marchese

Are you a regular runner or jogger? Got yourself in an exercise rut? Easy to do. For those of you who have been pounding the pavement regularly but are getting a little stale try making some changes to your routine over the next 28 days. Here are some tips to help you recharge your exercise routine. Pick one of the following options and replace one of your weekly runs (or two if you run more than four to five times per week) with the suggested alternative. The idea is that you will increase the intensity but reduce the length of your workout by about 20 to 30 percent.

1. Add some hill running to your program, particularly if you have been running or walking. You could shorten the length of your workouts but increase the intensity by adding the hills. For example in a 30-minute workout you could add in a 30 second to one minute hill run (depending on your fitness level and the slope of the hill) once every five minutes.

2. Get yourself to the beach if possible…replace one of your weekly runs with a session on the sand (the soft sand if your up to it!).

3. Add stair climbing to one of your weekly runs. Find a set of stairs to challenge your cardiovascular system and coordination and balance. Depending on the height of the stairs you will need to climb one to two stairs at a time. Sprint up the stairs and recover with a slower pace down the stairs taking care to not lose your balance or footing. Replace about 20 percent of your workout with some stair running after a decent warm-up. You could do this in the middle or towards the end of your workout to really challenge yourself.

4. Break up your run with some resistance work in a park. Replace about 10 minutes of your run with 10 exercises – do as many of each in one minute as you can. Rest for the remainder of each minute, for example do as many push ups as you can in one minute…if you can do 30 push ups and it takes you 40 seconds, then rest for the remaining 20 seconds. Here are a list of ten exercises…try them in order so that the upper and lower body get a break between exercises:
i. Push ups (narrow grip)
ii. Squats
iii. Dips
iv. Lunges
v. Chin ups (find a bar in a park)
vi. Calf raises (kids playground equipment can be useful as a step for these)
vii. Air boxing
viii. Running on the spot
ix. Push ups (wide grip)
x. Step ups (using a park bench)

Note: Remember that you will need to seek out a suitably qualified fitness professional to instruct you on the proper technique of each exercise before you start!

Overall, variety is the key but so are the goals you are trying to attain. It is best to have your programmed reviewed regularly to avoid boredom and overuse injuries. We can all get stale and even the fittest runner can plateau. Reducing the length of workouts and increasing the intensity is one of the easiest ways to increase variety and add some spice into your workouts! Best of luck.

Rosemary Marchese is a Director and the Editor of fit for life online www.fitforlifeonline.com.au. As a registered physiotherapist with over 15 years of experience in the fitness industry she brings to fit for life online a wealth of health and fitness writing and editing experience.  She is the co-author of the best-selling book ‘The Essential Guide to Fitness: For the Fitness Instructor’, which was specifically written for those people wanting to start a career in the fitness industry. She is also a former Editor for Ultra Fit magazine and is now writing her second fitness book. Rosemary is a fit and healthy mother of two young children dedicated to helping busy mums achieve their health and fitness goals.

by Kaitlin Walsh

If you’re like the rest of Australia, with the New Year came your resolution to get fit. Unfortunately, the figures are against you: around 80% of such resolutions fail within the first 12 weeks. But there’s no need to become a statistic. SuperLiving asked three fitness experts for their top tips on how to get fit – and stay that way – for life. Here’s what they told us.

First things first, let’s address fitness resolutions, why they so often fail – and what you can do to keep your resolution alive.

Too much too soon

Chris Tzar is an exercise physiologist and director of the Lifestyle Clinic at the University of New South Wales.

According to Chris, one of the major obstacles to resolution success is the ‘more is more’ attitude we adopt as we hurl our tired old bodies into our shiny new fitness programs.

“The major reason for the 80% drop out rate is inappropriate exercise routines with too rapid a progression in terms of intensity, duration or both. In other words, too much too soon,” he explains.

“As you get older and especially if you’ve been sedentary, your body needs time to adjust to new demands. The classic example is getting shin splints from overdoing it – even just walking. This, as with other strain injuries, can cause a person real discomfort with movement and consequently stop their program altogether.”

The moral of the story, according to Chris, is to pace yourself to give your body a chance to adapt to its new routine. He suggests ways to do this below.

Unrealistic weight loss expectations can also cause disincentive, says Chris, causing many people to give up before they give their program a chance to kick in.

“A realistic aim if weight loss is your goal is half a kilo a week. And remember, exercise alone won’t necessarily result in weight loss. Energy in counts just as much as energy out so you need to reduce your intake if weight loss is part of your goal. Remember, the more slowly you lose weight, the more likely it is to remain off in the long term.”

Starting out on the right foot

To help avoid the too much too soon ‘burnout’, Chris suggests that you first take a realistic look at your current general health and activity levels.

As far as health is concerned, Chris and our other experts all stress the importance of having a full health check with your GP before starting on a new exercise regime. If medical issues are identified, seek expert guidance from your GP or an accredited exercise physiologist. But don’t let such issues be a barrier to your fitness aims.

“Nearly all of the most common chronic conditions, such as cardiovascular problems, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes, osteoarthritis or other musculoskeletal problems with knees or backs, for example, respond very positively to the right type of exercise. If you are affected it’s all the more reason to get started – with professional help, of course.”

Once you’ve consulted with your GP and are ready to begin, Chris suggests you get an objective picture of your current activity levels.

“This will give you a proper baseline measure both for charting your progress and to help you structure a program that steps you up at an appropriate pace,” he says.

To do this, Chris suggests either keeping a seven-day ‘activity diary’ or wearing a pedometer and keeping a tally of your daily steps for a week. If you choose the diary option, record all your physical activity, from structured walks or gym visits through to ‘incidental’ or everyday movement such as walking up stairs, to the shops, hanging the clothes on the line, gardening, performing basic household chores and so on.

Get with the program

One you’ve established your normal levels of activity, it’s time to work on a program that steps those levels up gradually.

“There are 101 different ways to start a program and all manner of activities that you can include in it,” says Chris.

“But we are aiming for what we call ‘progressive overload’. This means making sure you increase activity in increments – whether in time or intensity – that are not so high as to cause pain or injury, but high enough to have you feeling and seeing benefits over time.”

If you are on a walking program, for example, Chris suggests that a realistic increase might be by around 20% every few weeks. So, if your original activity levels started at 5000 steps on your pedometer, up it by 1000 steps every few weeks. Over time you will be doing the recommended 10,000 steps a day – without fear of overload.

“The value of this approach is that you pace yourself properly and get fitter without injury or burnout. Once you reach a higher level of fitness you may then want to go further, take up a more intensive gym program, perhaps do some running or bike riding and so on,” says Chris. “And if you do choose to go further, the same principle of progressive overload applies.”

Resistance is not futile

By now most of us have heard about the benefits of resistance or weight training. Increased muscle mass achieved through this kind of training can boost your metabolic rate, helping you to burn more energy even while at rest and aids your body’s ability to keep glucose at steady levels. This helps prevent, or reduce the effects of, diabetes and offers cholesterol and blood pressure lowering benefits, too.

In addition, being stronger aids balance and mobility, a real benefit as you get older, helping prevent injury due to falls and enabling you to continue to do all the everyday tasks you need to without relying on outside help.

But what does weight training actually entail? Does it mean hours sweating in the gym with barbells and bodybuilders?

Not at all, says Belinda Parmenter, an accredited exercise physiologist who is currently undertaking a PhD relating to exercise for people with chronic conditions.

“Of course programs vary according to the needs of the person concerned,” she says. “However typically, they will involve movements that are targeted to strengthen the major muscle groups of the body. The weights concerned may be quite light – a kilo or so – or heavy – 20 or 30 kilos or more. We might prescribe eight or more different exercises, in three lots or ‘sets’ of anything from three to 20 repetitions of each, depending on the needs and health of the person concerned.”

Once you are shown the right moves and have the weights at hand, you can work through a program in your own home if the gym does not suit.

One thing Belinda does stress is that while the advantages of increased mobility and balance may come from using lighter weights, to get the metabolic benefits, higher intensity work with heavier weights is required.

Either way, no serious fitness program is complete without its component of resistance training, so factor that in.

A session or two with accredited fitness trainer or exercise physiologist can put you on the right track (see below for contacts).

Never sit still

All three of our experts also pointed to the latest research indicating that the physical activity/benefit equation is more complex than first realised.

Daryl Sadgrove is also an accredited exercise physiologist and director of Movement Medicine, a company based in Wollongong, NSW.

“All the latest evidence is that it’s not simply being physically active that is important for your health. Rather, it’s limiting sedentary behaviour,” he explains.

“It is now increasingly clear that people who are still for lengthy periods – say at a computer or TV – are prone to negative effects due to the release of harmful substances by the body, seemingly in response to these periods of inactivity. So it appears that even if you do your 30 minutes of brisk walking a day, if you also remain immobile for four or more hours a day you are still subject to those ill effects.”

The key, according to all three of our experts, is to increase your everyday activity – you’ve heard it before: take the stairs, not the lift, park further away from your destination, never ride when you can walk and so on. It is all about seeing the need to move as an opportunity, not a chore.

As well, they suggest that you make sure you break up any still hours at work or leisure with some considered movement.

Get up in the ad breaks and do some squats, lunges or star jumps. Take a brisk walk around the block every hour or so while working at the computer. Program activity into your inactive hours.

Daryl also suggests that you use time at home or the office to work on your balance.

“Balance is the quickest thing to improve when it comes to training and it’s so important to help guard against injury and increase your mobility,” he says. “Simply standing on one leg for 30 seconds each leg each day can make a real difference. And that couldn’t be easier to factor into anyone’s day.”

“It really is these smaller, constant everyday movements that make a big difference to your energy expenditure – and the more we are finding out, the bigger the difference appears to be,” agrees Belinda.

Staying the course: list, research and plan for adversity

Once you’ve established your program and have seen some improvements, be on the lookout for flagging motivation and plan for adversity.

Daryl Sadgrove is a big fan of writing lists, keeping diaries, goal setting and other formal ways of keeping on track. He also says that one of the most common causes of people dropping off their fitness program is when something adverse happens – anything from an illness in the family to an injury or having to work unusually long hours.

“Exercise tends to be the first thing to go in these situations,” he says. “I suggest to my clients – and follow this myself – that they plan ahead. Don’t just have one program, have several that are suited to likely events such as rain, illness, excess work and so on.”

For example, Daryl suggests that you might say, what if my knee goes bad again or I have that six-week intensive project at work? Your ‘plan B’ if your knee goes might be to ride your bike or go to aqua aerobics. That’s step one. But more than that, you get your bike serviced and ready and buy a ten-pass to classes at the pool so you are 100% ready to slip into your ‘plan B’ at a moment’s notice.

“Similarly with time management: if you can’t go to the gym or do your walk at your usual time, come up with an alternative: work out an emergency routine you can do at home in front of the TV if it’s raining or in a hotel room if you’re travelling. Don’t give yourself an excuse not to exercise. Instead of the negative ‘I can’t do this’, aim to reinforce all of your good work with positive, do-able alternatives,” says Daryl.

“That way you are most likely to continue and to keep enjoying being fitter, stronger and healthier for as long as you want to.”

Where to find out more

Each of our three experts is an accredited exercise physiologist and member of the Australian Association for Exercise and Sports Science (AAESS). These specialists are trained to help individuals and groups achieve their particular health and fitness aims through movement.

To find an exercise physiologist near you, visit www.aaess.com.au. Under some circumstances, your visit to an exercise physiologist may be covered by Medicare.

To find an accredited fitness trainer and/or gym near you, visit Fitness Australia at www.fitness.org.au

You can also find out about community-based fitness activities through your local council, university, hospital or Area Health Service. You can also ask your GP for information about suitable programs on offer near you.

This is article is courtesy of Super Living. Live and invest with attitude

The Power of Less Video from Leo Babauta on Vimeo.

by Kate James

‘The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.’ George Bernard Shaw

One of the things I’ve noticed about people who maintain a youthful outlook on life is that they avoid making rigid rules for themselves. Instead of narrowing their world by saying no to new experiences and ideas, they keep their lives and their minds open. In turn, they stay young.

I found it interesting to occasionally watch the ‘Grumpy Old Men’ or ‘Grumpy Old Women’ programs that were aired on television this year. Not because I found them riveting viewing but because (as much as I hate to admit it) I could see myself in some of the comments. I too have found it irritating sitting on the train listening to someone else’s second hand iPod music; I find it difficult to concentrate in many of the shops my daughters visit because the music is so loud and (now I’m really going to sound old) I can’t get my head around the low slung pants young guys wear…so low that you see more of their underwear than their jeans. What’s that about?

And then I notice what I’m doing. I’m making judgements based around a set of rules I’ve created in my own mind about what is right and what is wrong. And I’m doing the very thing I couldn’t stand when I was a teenager - behaving like an old person!

Whilst you could argue that the iPod traveller needs to be more considerate of other people’s comfort the reality is that is just one perspective. You could also have the opinion that people like me need to get used to more noise because that’s the way the world is now.

Life is so much richer when we let go of our judgements. When we lighten up and go with the flow and learn to accept that things change and a better way of dealing with change is to resist it less.

Tolerance and open mindedness are two of the most important principles in a world where global barriers are lessening every day. It’s equally important is to consider how we can apply this open minded thinking to ourselves and to the people closest to us. Stop and think about the limitations you set with the rules or the judgements you have created. Some of them you won’t even be aware of until you see yourself reflected in the comments of a grumpy old man or woman.

Next time you start to think ‘People should or shouldn’t do/be/wear/think… (fill in the blank)’ ask yourself ‘why or why not?’.

If you automatically think that you can’t or shouldn’t do or be a certain way, challenge yourself - why not? What’s the worst thing that can happen?

Benjamin Franklin said ‘The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.’

Do something different. Think something different. Be someone different.

ON A PERSONAL NOTE

I noticed over the Christmas break that I was laughing much more readily. It struck me that I hadn’t laughed much at all in the previous busy months. I had achieved all of my business goals (and more) but I’d lost something much more essential to my happiness - the ability to relax and be light hearted about life.

Chris and I spent three days with my sister Anna and her husband, Neil at their beach house after Christmas. Anna is younger than me and much less inclined to take herself seriously. She is so much fun to be around. She’s not crazy about the beach but she was happy to come swimming with me because I love it (in the end decided that maybe she could like it too); she doesn’t really enjoy champagne but drank it with me because I do and she is always, always willing to bend (or break) the rules.

We spent New Year’s Eve with Anna and Neil. It was a balmy night, all of our children were away with friends so it was just the four of us for dinner in their beautiful stone room. We danced on the front lawn under the stars and at the end of the night, in her hospitable ‘rule breaking’ way, Anna set us all up with pillows and blankets so we could sleep in the cool under the open sky. What a refreshing, open minded start to the year!

More about the beach house and New Year’s on the blog http://calmcreative.blogspot.com/

‘Kate James is a work life balance coach, writer and speaker. She works with professional people who want to enhance their quality of life by making the right career and life choices. You can find Kate at www.totalbalance.com.au.’

by Fiona Cosgrove

From the moment we wake to the moment we go to bed, many of us have a full “dance card”.  In other words, time allotted for various activities that need to be done in order for our life to run smoothly or to fulfill some other criteria we have set to make our life orderly and purposeful.  Having a purpose to our days is very important, otherwise, why bother getting out of bed in the first place?  The mistake we make is to create a life that is so full of “purposeful activities” that we forget why we’re doing them in the first place and we allow little time for pleasure.

Now purpose and pleasure do not necessarily have to be distinct from each other.  We may exercise for the purpose of maintaining a healthy body, or enjoy getting out on the bike or going for a run -  and they are great time efficient ways of living a happy and satisfying life – or at least for an hour of the day!  But we occasionally forget to take stock of our routine to ensure that we do have a portion of our day spent in pleasurable activities.  Because without pleasure, life becomes one long responsibility and drives us to forgo time where we can lose ourselves in something we enjoy.  It’s the “losing ourselves” that is the important piece.  Activities that allow us to have complete absorption and a loss of sense of time are known as activities that produced “flow”

What is flow?

The term “flow”is usually used in a sporting context, but the definition of flow is “a state of complete absorption in a complex and challenging activity that stretches one’s skills”.  And this can happen anywhere.  Csikszentmihalyi is a world famous researcher on the psychology of optimal experience –what he calls flow.  An essential element of any flow experience is that your perceived abilities match the perceived challenge of the task at hand.  In this balance, we can become truly “engaged” in the activity and some of our peak experiences will occur then.  He explains that flow experiences involve clear goals, effortless yet total concentration, a sense of control, loss of self-consciousness, an altered sense of time – complete absorption.  The more flow experiences we get in our life, the happier we will be.

So what in your life enables you to experience flow?  As a child many activities allowed flow as we discovered the joy in learning and play.  As adults, we may give up our hobbies or interests.   Take a look back at your week and make a note of anything you have done  that you really enjoyed, felt relaxed yet absorbed or challenged in the activity.  Was there something each day?  If not, time to schedule in some “flow-time”.

“Happiness lies at the intersection between pleasure and meaning.  Whether at work or at home the goal is to engage in activities that are both personally significant and enjoyable.”  Professor Tal Ben-Shaar from Harvard University.

Where do we find flow activities?

We can experience flow at  work or at home although often other factors affect our experience at work – anxiety, pressure or constant interruptions.

The type of activities that are likely to produce flow are ones that use our strengths.  If we can be creative and find ways to use our strengths and talents then the pleasure we gain from a task will increase.  We need to identify what we are good at and  use those talents.  It is likely that we will get more absorption and engagement when we are doing something that uses our strengths.

Find new flow experiences

If we are not finding our current lifestyle “flow-producing” then time to explore other options or interests.  Look back on what you have enjoyed in the past or take that next step to try something new which may give you what you’re looking for.

Why is flow important?

It can improve:

• Life engagement
• Life satisfaction
• Quality of life
• Positive emotions
• Our resources
• Our self esteem
• Our health!

Fiona Cosgrove has over 20 years experience in the wellness & fitness industry - owning and managing clubs in Australia and Asia, including No 1 Martin Place, NSW Fitness Centre of the Year, 2006. Fiona is the author of Coach Yourself to Wellness and she regularly runs corporate seminars and workshops in the areas of healthy lifestyle, motivation and wellness.