The keys to resilience
Thursday, September 25th, 2008Many people ask me about what to do when you feel you have just been beaten up – by clients, by the market, by the uncontrollables that seem to jump out from nowhere and give you such a terrible run of things that you think it is never going to end. Here are some brief pointers on staying motivated and in control and, from a leadership perspective, engendering some of those qualities in your team.
Action:
Action is the one thing that gets us past ‘rumination’ (feeling sorry for our selves and wallowing in the problem) and on to achieving the next step. A great friend of mind, Psychologist Phil Jauncey, says that most of our poor feelings are caused by a lack of action. When we are depressed it is because we are worried about something in the past but haven’t yet taken the actions to correct it in the future. When we get anxious it is because we are worried about something in the future and we haven’t taken action to control it to the best of our ability. And when we are in a state of distress we are worried about what is currently happening to us, but haven’t yet begun to take real action to solve the problem.
Different Actions, Different People:
The right action to take is different for different people, but it is action nonetheless. For introspective people action might take the form of sitting down, making lists and formulating a plan. For those who are more social and interactive, action might take the form of talking to someone else who has been in the situation before. For others still, action might be a case of forgetting all about it for a day or two and getting away with some friends to enjoy yourself.
Talking to Ourselves:
And then there’s the phenomenon of ‘internal dialogue’ – a fancy way of saying that we all talk to ourselves (remember, it’s only crazy if you start answering!). We all have these conversations at some level as we try to make sense of the world and those around us.
“Can I trust this person?”
“Can the rest of this report wait until tomorrow?”
“I’ve been pretty good……I deserve to stay in bed rather than going to the gym this morning”
“Does my bum look big in this?”
But the key conversations we have with ourselves centre on our explanations for failure.
In Martin Seligman’s landmark work, he discovered that when people are defeated, they say that failure is permanent (“this always happens to me!”), and pervasive (“this will ruin my whole day!”). When people are resilient the think failure is temporary (it’ll turn around) and specific (the next time will be different) – and the key is that resilient people work out that they can change something in order to improve their chances next time.
Resilience in Your Team:
What does this mean from a leadership point of view?
Action is still the most important driver of being resilient. Listen to your people and understand their problems – let them vent when they feel they have to – but engage them in action as soon as possible. Where appropriate, coach this in order to get them to own the action…don’t always solve the problem for them.
When it comes to inner dialogue, I am afraid that you have to be that inner voice for them. Again, listen to them and let them vent (not for too long) and then ask the questions that get the positive dialogue going:
“What would you change about it next time?”
“Why do you think that approach didn’t work?”
These questions force them to question the permanence and pervasiveness of the problem or situation. Give them a reason (not an excuse) as to why it didn’t work out this time and ask them what they will change to get a different outcome next time.
Uncontrollables:
When your team is failing due to uncontrollable circumstance, it is best to set some new benchmarks. These might be revised KPI’s that were already set, or alternatively the focus might change from outcomes and be placed more on activity or behaviours that would otherwise be successful were it not for the current market etc.
People still want to achieve, but sometimes we have to shift the goal posts to make this happen.
And finally, keep reiterating…….
We can only control the things that we can control, the uncontrollables shouldn’t matter. We might not always choose the things that happen to us, but we always choose our behaviours afterwards.
Tony Wilson is the founder of Teamcorp Australia, and has spent over a decade working with elite performers in business and in sport. His ability to help athletes reach their potential and maintain motivation has been a large factor in their success, and many corporate leaders throughout Australia now also apply Tony’s philosophies with outstanding results. Tony’s practical background, coupled with an MBA, give him a unique perspective on personal and team performance.












